Hole In my Heart
by VampSaxAngel
Summary: She is consumed by darkness. How does she feel? What is she going through? Is she still strong, or weak? Read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

_I love Twilight! Yeah, duh. Hey, guy, how are things? Hope they're good. Anyway, this is, as the short summary says, a oneshot and poem in one. I just needed to put this out there. Enjoy!_

* * *

_Death_

_That which comes with the last breathe_

_Pain_

_A word used as my main_

_Life_

_How things happen in strife_

_Anger_

_Everytime the heart is hit with problems and danger_

_Sadness_

_The way the world goes slowly under madness_

_Love_

_The showing from a dove_

_Passion_

_That which counteracts depression_

_Goal_

_To have shown him he had a soul_

_I always thought his was gold_

_No matter how many years pass he is not old_

_He is my heart_

_which has been torn apart_

* * *

I can see nothing. Everything around me clowly faded to black, like lights being dimmed by something in the far distant. I do not care if the sun is gone, if the sky is full of the darkness I feel in my soul. I only feel numb, broken. No other words can describe the feeling of your own body getting ripped apart from the inside out. My heart was thrown in the wind that his fast run made when he turned and left. The leaves lifting slightly, then slowly falling to the ground. Blending into the sea of wet, drowned leaves which blanketed the ground.

Why did he leave? Where did he go? Did he know of the broken...thing...I would be when he left?

Most likely not. I'm sure he always queestioned if my love was strong enough. Though I knew he was too amazing for me to be lucky enough to have him. I never placed questions on us, but it might have been better if I had. I had always taken him without complaint and enjoying that he even gave me a second glance. I probably would have fared better if I had questioned, even aloud, about us, about his love. Well, the love he showed, anyway. He never loved me, just my scent, and illusive, silent thoughts. Those thoughts that I did not hesitate to tell him, whether they be word for word or not.

His dazzling abilities were amazing, but he never had to dazzle me for me to tell him my thoughts. Well, he did, but now he's gone, and I'll never see those dazzling homey-colored eyes in life again. I'll only see them when I close my eyes, yet I could never picture those eyes like his perfectly. They were just too beautiful, too deep, nothing could compare. Those soulful, gentle, passionate eyes so full of everything. Every emotion, thought, everything. Everything that only his eyes could show all at once. Those eyes I hope I'll dee just one more time before my heart stops beating, even if for only a second.

And his lips. Those perfectly pink, oh-so kissable lips that I could kiss for hours. If it wasn't for my need to breathe, I would have. _Would. Have_. Oh, God. Though I could not see anything, I still felt my eyes sting with tears. Those always gentle lips, so cold that my lips feel entirely too hot against his. I was always grateful for any cold he bought, whether it be from his lips, hands, or very protective arms.

His arms. Those arms that I could not take my eyes off of, or hands, our first time together in the meadow. The first time I saw him in the sun, the sparkling diamond of his skin something not even my human mind could forget. And the hard sliver of his chest that shone through his unbuttoned shirt. The hard contours of his abs also glistening, making them seem softer, yet still perfectly defined.

He was perfect, always will be perfect. I loved him, will always love him. he left, but I will never forget. It will never be like he never existed. he will always be on my mind. His leaving, his goodbye, his lies, all like a hole in my heart.

* * *

_DEEP! yeah, mega deep. Anyway, the poem is not one of my best. I am actually really good at poetry, this just did not come out the way I wanted it to..._

_tell me what you think anyway. Read and Review_

_Thanks V.S.A_


	2. How You See It

**_How You See It Contest!_**

**_Hey, guys! I will be hosting my first contest. The contest rules, prompt, and regulations are as follows:_**

**_Prompt: You must take any part from the book of your choice from the Twilight Series, or any scene from any of the movies, and rewrite it. The scene can not be written word-for-word, and it must have new diologue and be more intense. The perspectives may vary. You may write in any POV of your choice. All characters in the specific scene must be present, but you can add any character or characters of your choice. You may add more or new background knowledge, you can add more details, and you can foreshadow if the scene allows. Also, the scene can consist of any character couple of your choice, added or not, but any stories with a noncanon couple will be immediately disqualified. _**

**_Rules:_**

**_1. Keep the story under 5000 words. (you can take the story and add to it if you wish after the contest is closed)_**

**_2. Stick to the prompt. _**

**_3. All added details must be legitimate to the scene._**

**_4. The story must be rated T or lower. _**

**_5. All content must be PG. (All types of kissing are allowed, should they be in the scene or added to the scene)_**

**_6. All scenes must be involved in either the books or the movies (stated above, as well)_**

**_7. The rules must be copied and pasted at the top of the story along with title, author name, rating, characters involved, and perspective in which the story is written._**

**_There you have it! All stories must be entered by November, 28 at 11:00 a.m. If you have a story, write it, place it under your stories, and send me a message with the title so I can read it. A review will be sent under the story to give confirmation that I have read the story and that it has been added to the list of qualifying stories. _**

**_Thank you, V.S.A_**


	3. Incredibly Important New Poll!

**Alright, guys, this is incredibly important! I can't not stress that enough. So, here's what's up:**

**There is a new poll up on my profile that I would really like/need you guys to vote on. I know that a lot of people may not view this, but it is super important. I will be sad to see WWNHA come to an end, but they all must, and I want my next project to be for all of you for how amazing all of you have made writing this particular story. **

**It has honestly been a journey for me because this is, quite literally, my best story to date. This was an impromptu, out-of-the-blue story, and I never, in my most insane dreams, imagined it would be doing to so well. I've reached over 150 reviews with 20,000+ views, and to most authors that may be nothing, but it's absolutely incredible to me. I love and thank all of you for all the support, and I will do my best to not disappoint anyone in my next projects. Though I can not ACTUALLY please everyone, I will still work not to.**

**Anyway(!), down below are the summaries for the stories that are up for the poll, and I need y'all to let me know which story y'all like best through the poll. Bear in mind, however, that only one story will be written as WWNHA begins its decent, but I plan for all of the stories to be written in due time, so if the story that you do not vote for is up first, the first chapter of every one of them will be up within, at least, a week. That way, everyone will get a taste for what they really, really want to get sucked into. **

**I'm sorry, I'm rambling now, but I must let you know. I have found that, since writing my first non-canon story, I can no longer conform to Bella/Edward without a solid knowledge of any future story. While I support the couple, it has become increasingly difficult to read about them. They seem slightly bland in relation to Bella/Emmett, Bella/Carlisle, or Bella/Jasper. If you are a fan of that specific couple...well, I'm afraid I can not please everyone. If I could, I'd have more confidence and would already be exactly where I want to be at this point in time XD**

**I'll stop now, here are the stories:**

**_Ring of Fire_ **_(Jasper/Bella)_: Jasper had walked the Earth for so many years that even he had lost count. But that did not matter, what did matter was the fact that he could not get that one woman out of his mind. He had sucked her dry without a glance and, in the end, regretted every moment. One can imagine his shock when she magically appears in front of his door when he stopped in that horrible motel. Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to room 666, where hell is known, and the ring of fire swallows the body whole.

_**Cut Thy Strings** (Bella/Emmett)_: Bella felt sick to her core. Her eyes were open, and she was standing, but with her arms in the air, she knew she held no control. He was puppet master, and she was right at his disposal. Sure, life had been bad before, but this was just cruel, sick, and twisted. Emmett watched silently as his workers ripped he flesh open and placed the strings beneath her skin. At first, he felt nothing, just as with all of his catches. But now...could more arise from these horrible blissful occasions?

_**Electricity or Poison** (Bella/Carlisle)_: Upon starting his job, Carlisle never dreamed that he would one day be the best official in the city. In a town this small, the best friends are who you work with. Carlisle respected all of his colleagues, but when his "friends" daughter shows up in the pouring rain with blood covering her trail, he began to question the chief that was vying for his position. Little did he know, the girl was even closer to the death penalty for being innocent than the criminals he had already put in jail.

**Please take the time and vote. It would really help me out a lot! **

**Summaries are also on my profile if you want to double-check everything before submitting your votes. (Notice, you only vote once, so be picky! :D )**

**Thanks ever so!**

**~Much Love**

**VSA~XOXOX**


	4. Nominated and Voting!

**Hello, hello, my lovely readers!**

**I have some excited news! My WIP story (We Will Never Hurt Again) has been nominated for the Emerging Swan Awards under the Cullen Lovin' (Excluding E/B) area! **

**My goodness, this means so, so, so much to me, and I am absolutely overwhelmed with excitement, it's such an honor! **

**This came about all because of you guys! Thank you all so much! I can repeat that day in and day out, but it will still not mean enough. **

**The voting starts tomorrow, and it would mean the world to me if all of you could go and vote for my story. Voting ends September 21, so please, vote, vote, vote!**

**Again, thank you all so much! Please go and vote, here is the link: **

** u/3147840/Emerging-Swan-Awards -copy and paste. **

**On profile as well, if this does not work.**

**Go and vote, I would appreciate it very much!**

**Love you all, and have a wonderful day!**

**~Zoe-VSA-XOXOX~**


	5. Help! Story Ideas

_Alright, I'm in desperate need of some help! I've got some story ideas I would love for all of my lovely readers to choose from. The most picked will be the next story I begin working on! I can't seem to choose, and I wish for all of you to pick. _

_Don't worry, all stories will be written in due time, but this will make the stories come out that much quicker :) _

_Place a review announcing the title for the story of your choice! _

**Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Death (Bella/Emmett or Carlisle or Jasper review your pick on the guy, please)- The year was 1776. A year of independence, the urge for freedom arising in all corners of the world, making way to the Revolution. Beyond these times, however, I was reborn. Forever reborn by the curse which was placed upon me millenniums ago. Name a battle, I was there, woken into the general, soldier, drummer boy, you name it. With every death, I came back, but it was the wounded pain that kept me clear. I could live forever, but every death was a new life for me. Oh, Lord, where would this stop? **

**Blue Birds and Cardinals (Bella/OC-Nano)-The world was...dark...empty...in my eyes. It was the mysteries of its hidden depths which drove me. I stepped foot on the lands from one side of the earth to the other, yet I still knew so little. Even so, I could murder this world if I got the chance. My eyes grew hard at a very young age, thousands of years ago, with my transition. Transition into what? Well, I guess I will have to tell you my story to find out. Where to begin? How about age six, just when the world grew black and misty... **

**Electricity or Poison (Bella/Carlisle): Upon starting his job, Carlisle never dreamed that he would one day be the best official in the city. In a town this small, the best friends are who you work with. Carlisle respected all of his colleagues, but when his "friends" daughter shows up in the pouring rain with blood covering her trail, he began to question the chief that was vying for his position. Little did he know, the girl was even closer to the death penalty for being innocent than the criminals he had already put in jail **

**Cut Thy Strings (Bella/Emmett): Bella felt sick to her core. Her eyes were open, and she was standing, but with her arms in the air, she knew she held no control. He was the puppet master, and she was right at his disposal. Sure, life had been bad before, but this was just cruel, sick, and twisted. Emmett watched silently as his workers ripped he flesh open and placed the strings beneath her skin. At first, he felt nothing, just as with all of his catches. But now...could more arise from these horrible blissful occasions? **

_I really appreciate this, everyone! I absolutely cannot wait to see which story is chosen the most! (Work hard, I will be keeping track of the picks!)_

_If you would rather do all of this from your FB newsfeed, simply like the VampSaxAngel FB page, you will be instantly notified about updates, sneak peaks, get quotes from upcoming chapters, and special book reviews :)_

_Good luck to all of your choices! And thanks again for the help, I truly appreciate it!_


	6. Absent to Published?

Hello, everyone!

I know that this is not at all what any of you want to see. I know that all of you would much rather see the next chapter for any one of my projects, but I do have a valid reason for my absence. It has been near a year or less so since my last chapter update. In that time, I have written a novel and am currently in the final editing, formatting, and releasing process. I am soon to become a published author!

With this exciting news under my belt, I am trying my best to get the book out as soon as possible. While I cannot say much, I highly encourage all of you to take the link on my profile page to get to my official Facebook page and like it in order to receive updates and quotes and such for my first novel, _Decimation. _

This project is the first book in my Chosen's Trilogy, and I am very ready to allow all of you to read it. For how great the process is going, the book will be available before Christmas (Hello Christmas present!) or even earlier. The book is on a running for online release as well as a Kindle/Nook/iPad format.

I am incredibly happy for my dream to be coming true and for all of you to go on this journey with me. It's...it's been a while, but I am ready to keep in touch with all of you through this and Facebook (more so on FB, it's easier). I hope that all of you will stay with me during this crazy ride I'm about to go on and such.

I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it feel to be doing this, and how well everything has been going. And not just with this project, with my projects on Fanfiction and everything. It's been nice, and I am excited for the future.

But, anyway, I hope that all of you understand why I have been absent. Also, when things start dying down a bit, I will be working to get back into Fanfiction and writing a good amount before spinning off again to start work on the second book in the trilogy.

Again, be sure to like my Facebook page to get more information. I hope to be on good terms with all of you now even though I have been gone for quite a long time. I wish you all the best and hope that you all join me in my journey.

Best wishes to all of you and stay blessed.

~Much love,

Zoe


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